Dear Alleged Criminal,

If you are reading this, then you are in serious legal trouble.  Being on the short end of the metaphorical stick that is the law requires immediate legal representaion.  You need someone to tend to your legal needs and I am that man. 

Allow me to introduce myself, my name is J. Mordecai Fontanelle, the Last of the Great Southern Jews, and I am a professional lawyer.  You don't need to know much about me other than this tidbit:  I have never lost a case, in my heart.  Oh, the legal books may say otherwise, but, I know, in my heart, that I won.  So feel free to call on me in your time of legal troubles and I know, in my heart, that I will win your case.

               Let Me Fight For Your Freedom!     

 Mr. Fontanelle at work

                                                                                          

   legally, I can be reached at jmfontanelle@danpolonsky.com