Bipolar Weather Report

The temperature has dropped a few degrees and a low pressure front has moved in.  In an effort to compensate for the change in the weather, my body has increased the core temperature in my brain.  The tremendous amount of positive ions in the atmosphere has caused a significant shift in my brain chemistry.   Normally this would not be a problem, but the increased brain temperature has caused my brain to swell with sweat brought on by the presence of the positive ions. As the brain releases the excess heat through the blood brain barrier, the condensation has settled inside my skull.  The sweat from the cranium is now dripping back onto the brain, creating small but insistent pressure. I believe the swollen, sweaty brain is beginning to leak all over my brain stem and interfere with the hypothalamus.  Clearly, this can’t go on. Who knows when the weather will shift and bring a more temperate climate? 

The obvious choice is to have three concentric circles drilled into my skull.  This would release pressure, moisture and bad humors.  Truly, the elements are an exciting and unpredictable mistress. All one can do is look up and then look down, hoping to find some change or a dollar. 

Tomorrow’s forecast: blue skies for everyone.